A Proper Debate.

Why is it that when I want to sit and have a serious debate with someone, they decide to insult me instead of explaining their point? I am not arguing with your pride nor ego. I am debating your point of view. I want to truly understand the reasoning for your beliefs. Do not call me slow if I deny your beliefs. Do not call me a devil worshipper if I deny your beliefs. My beliefs do not have to be the same as yours.

Instead of insulting me, maybe try to explain yourself. I would take you much more serious if you did not feel the need to berate me for not believing the same. It is a shame, honestly. It proves to me that you do not truly understand what you are talking about. And instead of humbling yourself and admitting that, you feel the need to make others feel as low as you by putting them down.

Learn to have a proper debate. 

Explain yourself without putting the opposing side down. 

Stop trying to establish your false dominance and humble yourself. 

Peace of Mind

  Maintaining peace of mind is probably the hardest task for anyone to accomplish. We live in a world that is so chaotic that it is normal for anxiety, stress, depression, anger, frustration and impatience to take over our every thought and action. Many feel there is no way to maintain a conversation without bringing up something that is WRONG in the world. It's just a part of day-to-day life, right?
For most, yes.
  The easiest way to fight that is just to accept the fact that the world will ALWAYS focus on the negative, and you as a singular person cannot change that. What you can change is how you react to the negative. Instead of giving in to it, just accept it. It's as easy as that. Accept that there is nothing you can do about it. Not everything will to as planned. Not everything will go the way you want it to. But don't let that bring you down. Collect yourself, acknowledge what went wrong, and plan a way around that inconvenience. 

-A ❤

Falling in Love With Me

    It has been many years since I have come to type on this platform of mine. It is interesting how fast time can get away from you. I haven't written much on my computer but instead have started journaling nearly every day. A lot has changed since I last sat here to type. I am in a new city. I have new friends. I have a completely new daily routine. I even have new dogs. A new life, entirely.

    It took the last couple of years for me to find myself. To find the "me" that was underneath all the societal and family influences. I cried... A lot. I learned to truly laugh, also a lot. I learned how to find beauty in everything but also never forget that ugliness exists too. I learned how to look at myself and not hurt myself. I learned that what others have said about me in the past HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHO I AM NOW & that was the biggest takeaway from my self-healing journey.

    Gardening is something that I had always wanted to do. I have dreams of owning a farm and enjoying the fruits of my own labor. Well, I started doing just that... but it was a bit of an interesting route. It started with an aloe plant many, many years ago. It died. Houston was just too humid for that baby. So, then my grandpa gave me a "Mother of Thousands" plant and some more aloe in July of 2019. I told myself that I was going to do my best to keep these alive! Well, I can proudly say that two years, and possibly 50+ houseplants and an edible garden later, I kept them alive! Being able to carelessly do what I wanted and being allowed that creative freeness has brought into the light so many new talents. Before I started this journey for myself, my creative outlets all fell flat. Drawing, painting, singing, instruments, creating things... but I freed myself. I took a leap of faith and changed everything I was doing. I am slowly learning piano. I have my own business making and selling candles. I have completed multiple paintings. I have genuinely loved singing again. I started reading books again. I started wandering through nature carelessly again. So many things that I felt I couldn't do all because of my own mind. Some may call it depression, and some may call it laziness. I called it "being lost." Because that is exactly what I was. Lost.

I am not anymore though.

    My mind is in a much better place now. I have bad days, but that's what journaling is for. I don't really find myself basking in my own self-pity anymore, and that truly is the biggest milestone I have hit. 

    I am writing this mainly because my heart is just so full of joy that I cannot contain it anymore. I am genuinely happy. I have such supportive and amazing people in my life. Living my life for myself is the best thing I have ever done. 

-A❤

CBD: What Is It?

Before we jump into this blog post, I would like to give you a list of words I might be using and what they mean. I want this to be as educational as possible. I am not a doctor, I am a student doing my own research and letting others read what I've learned. 

Cannabis - there are two types, Cannabis Sativa and Cannabis Indica. This is the basic plant that hemp or marijuana can come from. 

Cannabinoids - compounds that derive from the cannabis plant. Mainly THC & CBD. 

Marijuana (Cannabis Indica) - The cannabis plant that produces flowers used most commonly as a psychoactive drug. 

Hemp (Cannabis Sativa) - The cannabis plant that produces flowers that are then harvested for its fibers to make rope, clothes, oil, food, as well as being used for health benefits. 

THC - tetrahydrocannabinol, the main psychoactive compound of the cannabis plant. 

CBD - Cannabidiols, a naturally occurring compound in the hemp plant. 

Hemp Oil - oil extracted from the stalks and stems of hemp plants to produce hemp products that contain multiple cannabinoids. 

Isolate - pure extraction of a plant, usually in a powder or wax form. 

Terpsolate - An isolate infused with terpenes, or flavors extracted from the hemp plant. Popular ones are Blue Dream, Bubba Kush, and Jack Herer. 

Tincture - usually 100% hemp oil mixed with coconut oil. Taken sublingually or can be mixed in food. 

The marijuana plant produces mostly THC compounds but still has CBD compounds. The hemp plant produces mostly CBD compounds but still has 0.3% THC in it (not enough to get anyone high). I will mostly be talking about CBD from the hemp plant. On to the real post! 

What most people do not know is that our bodies have a network of neurons called the endocannabinoid system that runs through our entire body. When we put cannabinoids in our body and into our bloodstream, our receptors in this system binds to them. Our bodies are made to consume these plants. "The chemical interactions of these bonds create a wide and largely unknown series of responses in our body" (Drury, 2018). By giving our bodies the chemicals it wants, we can alter our moods, appetites, and even reduce pain. 

Within this past month, I have learned that the Texas Department of State Health Services (DSHS) is starting a proposal to ban the sale of all CBD products, in the state of Texas. They are stating that in other states, CBD products have been tested and the products contained dangerous amounts of chemicals, mainly including dangerous amounts of pesticides. The Medical Cannabis Association of Texas (MCAT) is trying to get legislation passed that requires testing of CBD products by an independent laboratory. 

Personally, I use hemp derived CBD products daily, usually from CBDistillery, a company based in Denver, Colorado. I can easily buy their products online and have them shipped directly to my door. This company has a wide variety of 99% CBD isolates, templates, tinctures, and capsules. This company used a third party to test all their products called ProVerde Laboratories Inc. They are a "Massachusetts based laboratory offering analytical testing and consulting services in the Medical Marijuana (MMJ) segment" (ProVerde Laboratories Inc., 2018).

My main use for CBD is for pain relief. It's not often that I get migraines, but when I do, having CBD is helpful. It not only lessens the pain but also calms my nerves when I try to sleep it off. I also use it for my cramps during my cycle to help reduce inflammation (or bloating). I also use it for my anxiety from time to time. The list can go on and on, just know that it can help people.

When I buy from CBDistillery, I usually buy the isolate powder. You can cook this into your food, or you can mix it with an oil you like, like grapeseed oil or coconut oil. The isolate slabs and terpsolates are for smoking use. This is the fastest way to feel the effects of the CBD. They also have vape cartridges that work the same way as the slabs, but more convenient. The soft-gels and capsules they sell will probably take the longest to show effects since your body is naturally digesting these. If you are curious about more of their products you can head over to their website. All their products are very well explained and they even tell you the best way to use each product. They also show all the lab work for each product they sell so you can see for yourself that it is all less than 0.3% THC.

**I am an affiliate for CBDistillery and no, they are not paying me to write this (although that would be cool). I wrote this to inform and educate my family and friends. If you would like to browse their website or buy anything for yourself (or even your pet (yes it's safe)), here's my link! **

Sources:

Newswire. (2018, April 13). Texas Moving to Ban the Sale of All CBD Products. https://www.newswire.com/news/texas-moving-to-ban-the-sale-of-all-cbd-products-20432200

Drury, Adam. (2018, January 14). What is CBD (Cannabidiol) And What Does It D0? https://hightimes.com/health/cannabidiol-cbd/

ProVerde Labs (2018). http://www.proverdelabs.com/

CBDistillery (2018). https://www.thecbdistillery.com?rfsn=1325865.5135d&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=1325865.5135d

I'm Feeling 21

Ah, it has been a long while. Perhaps a bit too long, but I am here now. Things in my life have been quite hectic, and I cannot say that anything is slowing down soon. School started back up in September, and I also received a promotion at my job. So between the two of those things I have not been doing well with keeping my head on straight. My promotion at work is going well, but I never thought I could be so unhappy sometimes. I hate having to work still with food every single day, but I am also paying my way through college. It's all I can do at this point. (MOM, TAKE ME BACK IN PLEASE!) I am getting paid a lot better than before, so I guess it is worth it for now. As for school, it's easy peasy lemon squeezy. The only problem I am having is financial aid. I was awarded the money, but they are refusing to give it to me and blah blah blah... it's one hell of a hassle. Hopefully, soon it will get worked out.

As for my life other than work and school, I have been feeling very down. I am not sure if someone is deciding to send me bad vibes every day, but WOW, I am trying so hard not to fall apart. I have been trying to change the energy around my house to make things better, and it is slowly working. I think my main issue is me not getting enough sleep. My sleep schedule is very messed up, to the point where I cannot fall asleep until about 4 a.m. With working the night shift and me not eating dinner until midnight, it is hard to fall asleep earlier than 1 a.m. Soon I should be put to part time that way I can clean up the house a bit and fix the energy. Once I am feeling better, I am going to start my YouTube channel. I am hoping for things to work out and it is a good thing I am an optimistic person, or this would be annoying.
On the brighter side, I turned 21 last month. I haven't been drinking much but that's alright, drinking is really bad for you anyways! 

Anyhow, hope all is well with whoever is reading this and I hope you have a beautiful day! 

Stay rockin' and stay rad, my weird humans!

-Birdie 

RIP Soraka

This week has been a very challenging week for me. On Wednesday, April 20, 2016, Soraka passed away in my arms. I believe it was from her heartworms, but I am not for sure. I noticed that she was not eating her food that much the day before, and when I went in her room on Wednesday and saw she still had not eaten, I knew something was wrong. I tried to hand feed her some of her favorite treats, but she would turn her head. I decided to take her outside and see if that would cheer her mood. She was so weak she didn't want to go for a walk. So I brought her inside and decided to give her a bath. She was standing fine in the tub, but when I finished putting her shampoo on she sat down. She sits in the tub a lot, so I didn't take that as anything, but then she started to lay down. I had to hold her head up, so her face was not in the water. She then started panting so I figured she may have been too hot. I turned the water to make it a bit cooler, and she stopped panting for a little bit. I then tried talking to her to cheer her up while I rinsed her off and she did not seem to comprehend or even hear anything I was saying. I realized something was very wrong, and I turned the shower head off. I then took her in my arms, and she started panting again. Then I am not sure what happened except that she collapsed. Her ears and gums turned white, and I realized she was getting no oxygen. I was hysterical, but I tried to compress her chest to get maybe some oxygen and blood pumping, but it was no use. She was gone. The next 45 minutes are still a blur, but I know I couldn't let her go. My boyfriend was mourning with me, and we just sat in the bathroom. After I was able to gain a little control over my tears, I called Soraka's vet. They told me to bring her up there, and they would cremate her and spread her ashes in the pet cemetery. They also said they would send me a paw print in the mail so I could remember her.
I can hold my composure now, but I am still very upset. She was a sweet girl, and I am so glad I was able to give her four extra months to live. I wish there were more I could have done for her. I know she is no longer hurting, and she is probably happy as ever up in doggy heaven with my childhood pets, Spiderman and Kenya. I will miss her every day, but I am glad that I got the opportunity to have this sweet girl in my life. Below you will find a video that I made in remembrance of my princess. Thank you to Melanie and Aunt Pooh for your donations. Thank you to Renee for all the tips I needed to help bring Raka back to good health. And thank you to all who shared my posts that helped me raise money. You are all greatly appreciated, and I love you all.

Stay rocking, stay rad, and most of all, stay humble.
- Birdie and Raka

Government Assistance Shame

I am bringing up a very sensitive subject today. Government assistance.
The reason I am bringing this up is because I am a 20-year-old college student who is (at the moment) only able to work part-time. I am paying for my college education, but also receiving financial aid, and having money to eat every day is not always possible after all my bills are paid.
I decided that even though most people who receive food stamps are frowned upon, and in the worst instances, violently hurt, I would apply for Texas Benefits. I have now had food stamps for about a month, and I can tell you that not once have I heard any snickers or smart remarks from people. I do not doubt that I will eventually get it from someone, but there is no reason for me to care. I realize that people are spending tax dollars for people to buy groceries, and they are mad about that. I also understand that people take advantage of the situation and lie on their application to get more money. One of the biggest problems is the opinion that everyone on government assistance is unemployed or uneducated. THIS IS NOT ALWAYS TRUE. Almost everyone I associate with is on some kind of government assistance, and they are either in school, working their asses off, or doing both. I have had a job since I was 15 years old, and I have been continuously attending school since kindergarten. Since I have started college in 2013 I have taken one summer off, since then I have been through 5 continuous semesters. I work part time, the only reason it's not full time is because my employer is currently overstaffed. I am working towards a promotion, but even with that, I will not be able to afford everything I pay for.
I did move out of my parent's house at 18, and some of you may believe that it was a stupid mistake, and I would not be in this situation if I stayed. Sure, my life would be easier if I stayed but not everyone can stand to stay under their parent's roof after high school. I moved in with my boyfriend, and we have been able to keep up with all of our bills until now. We have hit a bump in the road, and we decided the best decision for us was to apply for government assistance. If there is any problem in doing this, please explain it to me. I do not see any harm in us maturely using the money that is given to us.
It is sad that people who sincerely do need government assistance have to explain themselves continuously on why they are on it. This will be the only time I explain myself. There is no need for me to have to ever do this again.
If you have any comments or questions, please just put them below
As always, stay rocking and stay rad!
<3 Birdie